It was a very unproductive Tuesday by creativity standards. So I went out to study, yes? I did and even helped my sister with her homework and I think something must have snapped in my mind frame, since I could barely get into my writing mood. I produced 500 words, which sounded hollow, if the first draft is the skeleton of a novel than these 500 words had no marrow inside. I think that it has to do something with thinking analytically because of the Literature prep for the test and then getting into poetry mood to write some haikus. Must have short circuited my brain on that one. Funny really. It’s strange, because I also got an anxiety attack at the same time. I have this gut feeling that something bad is going to happen, pretty much like animals get restless before an earthquake. Now it’s beeping again and I am super not focused. Gee, must be fire and brimstone coming soon.

Good thing is that I found out how to write chapter nine. The standard linear way wasn’t going to help me since the chapter carries a very neurotic and scattered spirit, since Samantha is suffering. So I am glad that I happened to have read “Amberlight” since there Sylvia uses a method of telling the story is short fragments and this particular technique will help me spare words and get the story working. However I have trouble getting inside her head and making it more dramatic. My natural preferences go towards the witty, sarcastic characters that snort and retort. My project however involves timid, scared, desperate and schizophrenic. So I see this as a potential problem at several spots, the more emotionally loaded ones that need internals and show characterization. The plan is to write those spots the way they come and mark them on word with comments and try to get into Samantha’s skin during the edits, when the story is ready and only layering is needed.

New Words: 1, 463
Total Words: 29, 232

Deadline/Target: July
Reason for stopping: I couldn’t strain myself anymore, because the scene really demanded a lot of attention to detail.
Sample: Here she was running from starved shadow demon hounds, twice for the same week, and listened to a seductive male voice in her head, who urged her to step into puddles of blood that increased her speed. Quite frankly, she had no idea what was worse. Why does this happen to me? Persistent death attempts are reserved for the heroes.
Good things: I think I got a good action scene going on with introduction to the Nightmare dimension, although Samantha doesn’t quite know it. The vision is original in my opinion.
Bad things: This scene may be a bit too big for me to take at the first draft or at all, which is a pity. I have problem with my focus, getting deeper in her head and placing the internals at the right time. I am relaxed though, cause eventually I will get it.
Real life: The weather is really strange today, since it rains and the sun is shining at the same time. It’s cold as well and my hands and feet feel like dead meat. I hate my slow blood circulation. Anyways I posted a review about my favorite anime “D.Gray Man” over at Temple Library Reviews.

Today I am going to sacrifice my hair in order to appease my parents. Disturbing, really. I want it a bit longer so that my damn cheeks won’t look like balloon fish, but whatever. It will grow back, it always does and hopefully will until I am 80.

I also estimated that I am waiting for ten marvelous books to arrive and sadly that calculation reminded me that I am going to fry at my Math test on the 13^th. Dear God how I hate unreal equations and trigonometry. I so hope for a C. That way I will get a B for this half of the year and combined with my A the first half I will have A for the year. Go me!

Of course I will fry in literature, because the same I have to write an essay as a test for my final grade and the authors suck. We have a communist poet with, about which we are forbidden to hint at communism (don’t ask, it’s complicated). Then comes an abstract poet, who writes about doors, windows, balconies, cars and wheels. Basically you read and shout “Say What???”. The third is not better as he is thought to be Bulgaria’s greatest story teller and in his short stories, absolutely nothing happens and yet my teacher manages to dip tons of symbolism lying underneath a coat for instance. I see doom looming over me. I see studying.

"Forged in Blood" ~ Adult Urban Fantasy

New Words: 2,004
Total Words: 27, 769
Deadline/Target: July
Reason for stopping: Had to write a review for my review blog

Sample: I hope there are some libraries here at least, she thought and stood to her feet. If everything seemed possible and loads of crap dumped on her head, she would better get a good book as a consolation prize. Her hair was tied in a large knot behind her head and she was ready to move. She trusted the paved streets to at least get her somewhere. The feel of uneven, but stone like material was her only beacon in the darkness apart from the burning tree leaves around the well and another flickering shine. The light was ivory white and ghastly. It blinked from time to time, giving her some sense of what her surroundings were.

Anyways I am currently writing one of the more ingenious ideas, which actually handles a very subtle side of magic and getting through it all immensely fun, since I have to be careful of the details, fine lines of my character’s psyche and well she is with an education for psychologist.

Now let’s get to the final installment of my special, deep Sunday Six. I have already run out of the lighter and more beautiful for the senses, which leaves the solid food for the brain.

1. Glass: I really, really wish that my country finally would decide to adapt more interesting workshops to lie and I hope a center, where people are taught how to blow glass and paint glass, would be the starting point. I have this immense adoration towards stained glass and the shapes and properties glass can demonstrate. There is a whole chemistry behind the way glass is colored and a whole art behind how it is shaped. Anyone, who has visited any kind of old chapel, can surely appreciate the atmosphere stained glass creates.

2. Psychology: This is the one field of expertise that comes in as a pretty good tool in the arsenal of writer tools. Being able to get inside someone’s head only with the body language, manner of speech and what not, then crack this person apart analyze him. That is amazing and on the other hand really useful, because well if you want to write about a homicidal housewife with too many children and a passion towards chainsaws (I really want to write her up someday) you would be in the full power to do so and make people believe she is as every bit real as the next psycho on the streets.

3. Biology: I am a bit lying with this, since I am more focused on botany, well or at least I plan to go into this field. This is because of my world building quirk you see. I really like creating appropriate flora and fauna and I even started doing profiles on violent, very sentient plant life and well I have a knack for creating animals too, but flowers, trees, weeds and all in between has charmed me. You have to hand it to flora, because it’s silent, never complaining, when it gets cut down; it’s beautiful and paints the world in all of the rainbow shades; it never minds, when devour it and do genetics on it. In the end it always strikes back: dead flora takes its revenge with no way for the air to be filtered. Beautiful plants are often poisonous.

4. Toxicology: This came with a character of mine, who is this sick bastard with a misunderstood concept of getting integrated into society and starts a dissertation on the topic how the people from the three genetic caste systems react to all the various poisons in the home world ecosystem. He became this serial killer and well he knows a lot about poison and well I started to dabble into this for a while, when I decided that this project is too ambitious for me right now. The idea behind the world and the characters is too good and I know I can’t handle it right now, but the love remains and I can mix some pretty good “herbal” tea, if you dare, and tell by the symptoms, what the person has been poisoned with, if it’s a plant.

5. Gems: They are sparkly and the gal’s best friend, the fantasy writer’s too, if you are into the magic part, because I am sure that for most people fantasy ends with mention of elves, fairies, dragons, angels, vampires, werewolves and demons (which I adore) and magic is neglected or portrayed by someone with premonition or charms or something, but with no concrete system, no rules, no nothing. Gems have been used in magic, real one in the past and now by Wicca or other Pagan religions and fiction one too. Each gem has not only a pretty color, but a purpose like quartz, which guards against evil or jade, which is actually a healing stone, or malachite, which intensifies visionary skills and inspiration. If you can make them all glow and go BOOM, even better.

6. Metals: I am a big fan of silver and mercury, thus I started wondering about the perks of being a metal so to speak and well magnetism is one of the properties that intrigue me much and that has nothing to do with Magneto, although the carnage he does excites me. One of the very best things about metals is that you can mix them into alloys. Some examples here are electrum (gold/silver) and bronze (copper/tin). That way you have a new material with heightened properties and of course the geek inside of me started developing metals with special BOOM powers, which could me mixed and imagine the carnage.

Saturday is the equivalent of torture for the day, but many happy things happened and I am so excited. I went out as scheduled with my mom for a wee shopping spree and searched for the destined suit. We visited a few shops, but you know I am an awkward individual and Mother Nature sure likes to match things, so she added an unorthodox body type to the weird personality. So finding the right suit is just harder than I thought, cause some are either too wide or have too short sleeves.

So we did find one that made me gape after putting it on. Suddenly I looked like a man, a red carpet hottie and I think I smiled, while looking in the mirror and it didn’t shatter. That my dear friends happens rarely for me.

After that we visited the whackoo dermatologist, who yet again wasted a whole hour of my life, explaining how nettle soup brought iron in the body and made the hair glisten like you are taking Pantene through your veins. I have to share this. He started the whacked mixing of chemicals and took out a hammer and used its handle to smash the ingredients together. I was seriously considering whether or not to run, when he told me that I should be careful how I apply to mixtures, cause they can react negatively for my skin, if not done properly.

Then I bought myself a vest! It’s a long sleeved vest with white and black stripes and has these cool insignias and gray spots on the elbows and it’s just “gah! I love it!”. I spend too much time searching for that one. I mentioned about the unorthodox body type. Yeah, that explains it.

So exciting news

1) I decided that as a hobby I want to be a photographer and the learn how to manipulate pictures. I am asking my mom to finally fix a camera and get a charge device and changing the battery, so that it may work and I can start my photography raid. Mind you, in the beginning I am gonna do normal pics and you will see me, since I destroyed each and every single digital evidence of my existence. The summer, I plan a course on photoshop.

2) I found out that the books I won have come and what disturbed me was the fact that only three books arrived and they have to be five and well the package says that they have to be three and I started wondering, why there aren’t two more, especially considering that The Guilty isn’t among them. I will have to e-mail Jason about the weirdness. But the books, of the books, are so shiny, slick with these cool covers. I was giggling stupidly all the way from the post to home. Hah!

Oh and I wrote today on my book. 1K as promised and now I will watch “I am Legend” after that subjugate chapter one of my apocalyptic novella, which still has no title. I think something along the line of “Predatory Territory” or “Hunt” or “Carnivorous Flower”, but they seem off. I may need some assitance with title picking later on.

I said I would be working and I would be off from blogging I know it! I know I have no time and yet it’s addictive. So I am posting some writing update, movie recommendations and a bunch of crap to make thinks personal.

1) Read Gena Showalter
- Been there, done that. I am thirty pages further into the story and things are looking up really well. I feel for Mia Snow, cause she is placed between a hard place and a really hard place with spikes and barbed wires. I wonder what happens next. Hope she kicks ass.

- I also read from Svetoslav Minkov, who is the Bulgarian weirdo in literature and has these kick ass short stories and I get the Wow effect every time. The funniest so far was the one about a family receiving a metal tin can with grey dust, which they think is a new American vitamin and then use it in everything they cook and in the end it turns out this was their relative’s cremated corpse. The last line was so obliterating. Dark humor at its highest.

2) Edit horror story and fantasy story – Not today!
3) I take a pass on this one! No tampering done at all.
4) Has been done already and if you want dirty little secrets I suggest you click here and if you want dirty little cabaret smutness click here.

5) Outline novellas for Nocturne Bites.

- I did this right now and I am satisfied. I outlined in chapters and set my words per chapter and all those pretty little details that whisper: “You are professional.” Sadly “Clandestine Hearts” doesn’t fit the guidelines, since it has to have a strong Alpha-male character and my Nathan in CH is neither strong, nor alpha in any way. Call him skinny delicious, the term is provided by yours truly!

So here is the new gig in a few words: an apocalyptic world; a woman and her dragqueen friend, whose business isn’t exactly clean; a man, whose business is to get involved with people with unclean business; one missed meal; one angry mutated plant monster; modernistic demons and tango of doom.

6) This one is for tomorrow I hope.

Anyways I watched Moulin Rouge again, since daddy dearest flipped the channel and refused to let me watch it the last time it was on TV, so I downloaded it. Hah to him! The ending was sad and well Ian is hot, doing love ballads and Nicole is hot doing Kankan. All in all I loved it.

“Enchanted ” (Spoiler Alert) is another good movie. I bet everyone has watched it already and had a blast, but I just found time today. I have way too many movies stored and it’s high time they go. Anyways I loved Patrick Dempsey and his constant comments like: “He sings too?” and “Are you for real?”
The evil queen nailed it near the ending: “I will kill you all starting with the girl who started it all.” Then Patrick says “Over my dead body!”
“Okay, I am flexible.”
Tell me now isn’t this funny!

So tomorrow is shopping time! I am gonna look for a suit for the big prom that is like three months away and after buying it I will have to maintain the same weight, no thinning or fattening. Blah! It will be something black, hopefully with stripes and well a green shirt. My mom says I am not allowed to buy a green suit with pink stars and lots of shinny beads and a sombrero hat for the prom.

In the time I have been gone I did a lot of work at least by my standards, since I am as slow as a snail in that regard. First off I watched Torchwood season 1 and well I wasn’t as much as loving many people have been towards the show, but my sister has definitely been hooked. All I get is: “Can we watch Torchwood now?” I admit I am downloading season two episodes and watched the first one, so yeah I dig. All the gay stuff get me hot and that captain Jack Harkness, god, isn’t he a hottie?

So I also watched “The Breakfast Club”, which was filmed four years before I was born in 1985 and I have to say “WOW!” because this is the only film about high school that goes beyond stereotypes and really gets in behind the five groups depicted in it. It felt so real to me, mostly because I am in high school, but yet breathtaking, because it went down and broke the five characters down to all the basic ingredients that are present in all human beings. I just loved the ending line: “Each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basketcase, a princess and a criminal.” It makes you think and feel.

On the writing front things are going well. I edited… I goddamn edited and I am proud of it. Usually it has to take a year for me to look at a work of mine a second time that has been finished and well since the business isn’t tolerating that, you guess it, I have to adapt. I edited two short stories and well slammed around 500 words in each to flesh things out, add more detail and correct stuff. My CP is very supportive, seeing how I describe something with 30 words, when it should be just 10. I am helpless, when it comes to writing tighter. Bane of my writing existence.

So now I also created the magic system for my Samantha. Blood magic has been interesting to explore and well sadly apart from multiple sacrificial traditions I didn’t find anything, so I had to do it from scratch as usual. I am happy with my thirteen seals of blood magic and Samantha will be having fun. I will be having fun.

And tomorrow I will conquer the season project, which will be mostly about visual effect and that is a story I am doing just for fun. I like getting great visuals and well I will intertwine poetry in this too, so it’s a great challenge.

Things to do with writing:

1) Read Gena Showalter and Svetloslav Minkov

2) Edit horror story and fantasy story

3) Tamper with my season piece

4) Post new poetry I did on my poetry site

5) Outline my novella projects for the Nocturne Bites

6) Start the funny fairytale retelling.

Those have to be done a lot from Friday to Monday, so that I can sit down and write my novel in peace.